holy shit I have not felt any desire to hug anyone in two and a half months
it’s absolutely surreal to me that the person I was a year ago and I are the exact same person because we are total opposites in every single feature of our personalities
I feel like I’ve become a ghost, I…
if it makes you feel any better people compare me to dean and dean hates himself and thinks hes a piece of crap and covers shit up with jokes and pretends hes cool when he knows hes shit?
….. i unno how that would make you feel better..
aradias a cool character and so is fef
i unno why im typing this
you’re gonna write back with like “that was useless”
…. fuck it
no I know where you’re coming from man (though for heaven’s sake why are you focusing on the DIFFERENCE between you and Dean, you’re very similar in many other respects, that doesn’t mean you’re identical)
the thing is that I have gone from being as excited and happy and cheerful as Feferi to as emotionally dead and empty as a character who is literally dead
don’t get me wrong, I love those girls, they’re some of my favourite characters
but dead is not a good thing to be and that’s what I’ve become, and the difference between my past and present selves is so ridiculously huge that it’s even more disturbing. a normal person being depressed is one thing, but someone whose mood is naturally so high becoming depressed is scary